There he is before the casket, looking in the quiet and sleeping face of his father; there he stands looking in the face of his father for the last time. His heart is heavy, his mind is troubled, it is a shame for a man to cry, but he sobs like a baby as he realizes that this would be the last time that he would see his father’s face.
He realizes that he would never again hear his father’s voice, he longs to feels his father’s pulse but the old man’s body is so cold and void of life, so he sobs and stains his middle aged face with tears – tears of regret.
He wishes that he could have just one word with his father; He wishes that he could hear the voice of his father on last time; He wishes his father could take his hand and call him son; He wishes his father could scold him one last time. He longs for it. He yearns for it. But he would never have it for his father’s late and now rests in peace.
Now he feels an emptiness, a vacuum so huge that only a father can fill; for the first time in several decades he feels like a child again; a child longing for his father’s embrace; a child longing to hear his father’s baritone voice, before the darkness fell, before the darkness of adolescence and waywardness drove a wedge between him and his father.
He remembers the beginnings of the resistance, when as a youth (young teenager), he threw away the covering of his father and charted his own course. He remembers how he rebelled against his father’s words and took to riotous living; He recalls how he threw off the restraints and chased after the winds. He recalls when he was disciplined by his father and he spat in his father’s face.
Yes, he remembers when he stood in his Father’s face, looked him in the eye and said horrid things to him. He remembers how he broke all his father’s commandments and joined wrong companies; he remembers how he took to marijuana, tobacco and heroine turning deaf ears to his father’s instructions. He remembers how he partied, womanized and gave into alcohol because he despised his father’s instructions and thought the world wiser.
He had gone on in life and had become a man; he never deemed it fit to re-build his broken relationship with his Dad. His father was growing old, so he deemed it not too appropriate in this modern age to consult the grey head full of wisdom; He had founded his laws and principles of life on the wisdom in the street, neglecting the wisdom of his father.
He had thought when he had money, he would make it up to his father. He never deemed it right to return in humility and beg forgiveness of his father, he thought that time would amend the hurts that he had done his father; but he was betrayed by time, for time didn’t heal as he had expected; time flew by until his father aged to death.
Unexpectedly, it came and left him empty. He expected things would have gone right before his Father’s death, but they didn’t; now he feels cold and abandoned in the world out here. He stands there before his father’s body lying in state and weeps his heart out. He wishes.
He wishes he had listened to his father; he wishes he never went against his father’s will; he wishes he never disobeyed but followed his father’s instructions, he wishes he had kept his relationship with his father... he wishes.
He wishes that one more time his father did pop open his eyes and he did tell his father that he was sorry, that he loved him and missed him. But all he could do was wish, for his father was gone, gone forever.
He had missed and misused the privilege of having a father and had lost his only opportunity of being a good son. Now he weeps and weeps but tears would never be able to undo what has already been done. Tears would not be able to bring back his father, and only opportunity he had in a lifetime, he wasted it.
He would never have a father again. As a man, he feels the pains more than any child would ever feel. So he weeps, weeps, weeps….
There are so many like him in the world today.
Fathers
are an asset to the world and are gifts of God to us. Let us hold them
in High esteem and ensure we obtain their blessings. For one could only have one Father and he doesn't not live forever.
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